I am sharing
this quote in an upcoming motivational presentation on my favourite topic of
how to ‘lighten up for good’. It supports one of the self-sabotaging attitudes
I discovered through my battle with cancer and my successful weight loss
journey; an attitude that can weigh us down from living a truly healthy, happy and resilient
life. That attitude is one I refer to as the ‘Plague of the People Pleasers’.
If you’re a
People Pleaser, for example, chances are you have one heckuva hard time setting
personal boundaries and saying NO to people. Sound familiar? You hate to disappoint
others, you want everyone to love you and you’re afraid of how the person will
respond if you say NO so it’s just easier to say YES to them.
The problem is
that if you do this on a constant basis, what is this saying about your own
self-worth? What you’re implying is that saying YES to others is more important
than saying YES to yourself. You’re so busy trying to make sure that everyone
else’s needs and wants are being met that you’re doing this at the expense of
getting your own needs and wants met. Aren’t your needs and wants equally
important? Aren’t you tired of feeling less worthy, resentful or powerless with
certain people in your life, in particular? Are there certain people in your
life who are harder to say NO to?
That is the
conclusion I finally came to; that my needs and wants are just as important as
other people’s. I learned to give myself permission to say YES to myself
without feeling guilty or selfish. I realized that when I was constantly doing
things and agreeing to do things for others out of fear of disappointing them
or losing them, I was in fact only disappointing myself for not honouring who I
am and what I feel. I’ve learned that being who I am and saying what I feel
lends to much greater health, well-being and sense of self-worth. So when you’re
in yet another situation saying YES to someone and wishing you could say NO, I
encourage you to refer back to this quote and my two cents for today.
If you want to stop being a People Pleaser
and need help, discover
how my Lighten Up for Good personalized coaching program can help you. If you're looking for a dynamic speaker for your next corporate or group event, visit http://www.roslynfranken.com.
