Friday, September 13, 2013

When You Start Leading Yourself Instead of Following Others

For many years as an entrepreneur I have spent tremendous time, energy and money following the guidance of others who have achieved wild success as experts in business and personal development. I learned something valuable from each of them, got some wonderful business ideas and have no regrets. I’ve put into action much of what they taught me with varying results and other things I have yet to apply.

If you’re an entrepreneur, perhaps you know what I’m talking about. Have you signed up for all kinds of workshops/programs with experts, coaches and gurus and have yet to read all their materials and put their systems into practice? Everything they offer is typically what made them super successful so why wouldn’t you follow them and do exactly what they’ve done? They’re giving you the blueprint, but yet when you try what they suggest and don’t get instant results, or maybe suddenly learn that it actually takes a lot of time and effort, do you give up? Or have you not even tried at all yet?

Although I’ve not had the results and success I’d envisioned from everything I was given by these mentors, probably partly because I have not exactly applied it all, as I said earlier, I have no regrets. Some might say, “Well if you didn’t get what you envisioned out of it, don’t you feel it was a waste of time and money?” My answer to that is absolutely not. I did not get the results directly from what they taught me, but the success and happiness I enjoy now is indirectly attributed to every one of them and I thank them all. Here’s why.
Each of them was giving me blueprints to success with the assumption that success to me was the exact same as success to them which was money, money and more money. There was also an assumption that because they had success with their system, that it would automatically work for me too as long as I did exactly what they did. Well, I’m not going to lie to you, money was a motivator, as I do need to eat and pay my mortgage, after all, but what I realized is that money is NOT my primary motivator or sole definition of success.

They were all trying to pigeon-hole me into weight loss as my niche since I have successfully managed to eliminate my excess weight and keep it off for 9 years now without dieting, pills, bars or shakes. Yes, that is a personal triumph for me, for sure, and is still an area I love helping people with, but there are so many ways I can help people including people who do not have a body weight issue. However, the experts kept telling me that I needed to niche market and focus on one target market and that I’d be crazy not to make it weight loss since it’s a $15 billion dollar industry and that’s ‘where the money is’. I did what they told me for the longest time and enjoyed some wonderful success, but I just kept feeling like I was somehow short-changing myself.  As a proud cancer survivor, there were so many other ways I wanted to help people and I knew I had so much more to offer.
My weight loss coaching clients kept saying things to me like “Oh my gosh, Roslyn, what I’m learning from you is so much more meaningful than just the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. You’re teaching me how to be good to my body and kind to myself.”  After enough of these similar comments, it finally hit me that it was time to STOP listening to all the experts telling me what I ‘should’ be doing and what’s ‘right’ for me, that I won’t be successful if I try to be too many things to too many people. They tried to discourage me out of what I was about to do, but I didn’t care. I was sick and tired of following others and trying to do exactly what they would do if they were me. They are NOT me. It was time for me to lead myself and create my own path. Maybe it wouldn’t be as fast and easy as their rise to success, big house and fancy cars, but I didn’t care anymore as those aren’t even the things that are important to me to start with.
So with all the client feedback, it hit me that what I’m essentially doing is helping people to ‘lighten up’ in body, mind and soul and NOT just body. WOW!!!! Eureka!!!! This changed the whole game. I left the weight loss coaching behind (although I still do coach people for weight loss as part of my Lighten Up focus). I changed my tag line to ‘Lighten Up for Good’ as you’ll see on my website at http://www.roslynfranken.com.

I took the obvious weight loss focus off my website as I didn’t want to be identified with solely weight loss anymore. Helping people ‘Lighten Up’ is about reducing stress, re-claiming life balance, renewing health, realizing your potential and rejuvenating your spirit. It’s about boosting confidence, conquering challenges and bettering your life which may or may not include improving your diet or losing weight.
Although my mentors much preferred me sticking to ONE focus, ONE niche, ONE target market, I have to tell you that since I declared my path to helping people ‘Lighten Up for Good’ my business and success have accelerated faster than ever. I’m now getting more and more exciting speaking engagements, being able to reach so many more people and am currently writing my second book and planning for my speaking, book and media tour.

As soon as I made the shift, I actually felt lighter. This is what is true to me and how can anyone tell me that what is true to me is WRONG.

I’ve heard repeatedly that to be successful you need to stand out, be unique and different. Well how can you be unique and different if you’re constantly trying to emulate others and be exactly like them? It’s time to strike out and dare to be yourself. Have the courage to find your own route to success. Take from the experts what makes sense and feels right for you and that you can do with a clear heart, that is in alignment with your personal values and what’s important to YOU and not THEM.

These are the best lessons I learned from my coaches. Through them I indirectly learned to honour my own self and discover my own path to success. No matter how many workshops and seminars you go on, courses you take, books you read or CD’s you listen to, at some point you need to put a stake in the ground, claim your identity, know who YOU are and just get to it. Be willing to try, learn, fail, bounce back and try again. Learn from every experience. Figure out who YOU want to be as YOU, what makes you special and stop trying to follow and be like everybody else. This is me telling you what worked for me. My wish is that it will help you figure out what will work for you, but on YOUR terms.
After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her stress, weight and lifestyle challenges once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker who provides audiences with an unforgettable experience that brings hope, inspiration and proven life principles to overcome their challenges and lighten up for a happy, healthy and resilient life, no matter what.

To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

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