On My Celebrating 18 Years Cancer-Free

Last week, on October 17, 2013, I celebrated 18 years since my last cancer treatment.  I put a post on Facebook and Twitter about it and was overwhelmed at all the warm comments and support from so many. Although it may sound strange, it’s only in the last few years that I really recognized this date as a time worth celebrating. Prior to that it was something I quietly acknowledged to myself, but didn’t make mention of it so as not to draw attention to it. It’s only after all these years that I realize how significant my beating cancer truly is. How could I not have seen this before?

I believe that part of the reason is that shortly after winning my battle with cancer, I had another battle to face. I lost the most amazing job I’d ever had as District Sales Manager in a major publishing company (oddly enough not knowing at the time that I'd ever become an author myself ) as part of a corporate downsizing. It seemed that just after getting back on my feet from cancer, I got knocked down again and had to figure out what was next for me job-wise.  

I decided to go back to school to study web design so that I could jump on the hi-tech bandwagon that was really big in my city  at the time.  It seemed like the ‘safe’ route to go since there was so much job opportunity in the hi-tech industry.  Sadly, less than two years later when the hi-tech industry started to come crashing down, just two days before Christmas, the .com company I was working for at the time let half the staff go. Guess what, I was in the half that got let go. All I can say is ‘AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH, here we go again’.  I couldn't believe that I was being downsized again and two days before Christmas to boot. So much for the 'safe' route.

It just seemed that there was very little time to coast in between life setbacks and to fully appreciate and celebrate my success in triumphing over my cancer. I was so busy just trying to survive and pick myself up again that I didn’t really take the time to step back and revel in the glory of beating a life threatening illness like cancer.

In hindsight, the day of that last cancer treatment has always been a day worth celebrating because it marked the end of a chapter in my life and the beginning of a new one. There’s no doubt that beating cancer helped me put some of the other setbacks like losing my job into a more proper and positive perspective. I just didn’t see it at the time. I’m just happy that I have finally come to see it now.  I believe that it’s good to take that step back from time to time and fully appreciate some of the hardships and adversities you’ve overcome. When you remember and fully recognize the strength you’ve shown in the past, it can help you gain perspective and resilience for dealing with whatever you may be facing today or what you may have to face tomorrow.

After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her stress, weight and lifestyle challenges once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker who provides audiences with an unforgettable experience that brings hope, inspiration and proven life principles to overcome challenges and lighten up for good to a happy, healthy and resilient life.

To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

CONNECT WITH ROSLYN:

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LISTEN TO RADIO SHOW: http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com

 

 

 

Enough Today: Thanksgiving Thoughts from Roslyn

If you're like many, you may put a lot of time, energy and focus on all the things you feel are missing in your life and wish you could change. Perhaps you’re looking for that ideal mate to fill a lonely heart. Or maybe you’re looking for more money to fill up your bank account, pay off bills, have more stuff, and do more of the things you want to do. Maybe you’re longing to eliminate the excess weight that is weighing heavily on your body, mind and spirit. Maybe you’re looking to shift out of an unsatisfying job to a more fulfilling career. At this time of Thanksgiving, how about taking some time and focus on all the good things you have going for you in your life TODAY?

Is there anything about you and your life that you can take time this Thanksgiving weekend to be truly grateful for? If you’re looking for your ideal mate, but in the meantime have a loving family and friends, be grateful for who you have NOW. If you want more money to have and do all the things you want in life, be grateful for the money and what you have and can do NOW. If you’re worried about being overweight, be grateful for the body you have NOW.

We often hear about adopting an attitude of gratitude yet whatever we do it often feels like it’s never enough. Let this Thanksgiving weekend be about ‘enough TODAY’. Yes, it’s wonderful to strive for self-improvement and go after all the ‘more’ you want in life, but I urge you to not pursue it at the expense of feeling good about yourself and your life TODAY. Remember that what you have TODAY is a but a dream for many others. It's all so relative, don't you think?

After surviving cancer, I’m just thankful that I have my health TODAY. After surviving divorce, I’m thankful for the loving husband I have TODAY. After being overweight for many years, I’m thankful for having a healthier body and self-image TODAY. After working in unsatisfying jobs for years, I’m thankful for choosing to be my own boss and doing what I love TODAY. Is there more I want out of life? Absolutely. Do I have goals and dreams of things I want to accomplish in this lifetime? Absolutely. But my happiness TODAY does not depend on my tomorrows. It’s just the opposite for me. My happiness tomorrow depends on my happiness TODAY.

What are YOU thankful for this Thanksgiving? Why not put it in writing so you can go back to it later on when you may need some reminders to help you stay motivated and on track? Leave a comment to my blog or feel free to put it in an email to me. I love hearing what people are thankful for.  Send to roslyn@roslynfranken.com. So enjoy your Thanksgiving and use this holiday as a launch pad to being happy today and thankful all year round.

After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her stress, weight and lifestyle challenges once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker who provides audiences with an unforgettable experience that brings hope, inspiration and proven life principles to overcome challenges and lighten up for good to a happy, healthy and resilient life, no matter what.

To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

CONNECT WITH ROSLYN:

JOIN MAILING LIST: http://conta.cc/unbfX7
SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG: http://roslynfranken.blogspot.com
LIKE ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/roslynfrankenfanpage
FOLLOW ON TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RoslynFranken
CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: http://ca.linkedin.com/in/roslynfranken
LISTEN TO RADIO SHOW: http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com

 

When You Start Leading Yourself Instead of Following Others

For many years as an entrepreneur I have spent tremendous time, energy and money following the guidance of others who have achieved wild success as experts in business and personal development. I learned something valuable from each of them, got some wonderful business ideas and have no regrets. I’ve put into action much of what they taught me with varying results and other things I have yet to apply.

If you’re an entrepreneur, perhaps you know what I’m talking about. Have you signed up for all kinds of workshops/programs with experts, coaches and gurus and have yet to read all their materials and put their systems into practice? Everything they offer is typically what made them super successful so why wouldn’t you follow them and do exactly what they’ve done? They’re giving you the blueprint, but yet when you try what they suggest and don’t get instant results, or maybe suddenly learn that it actually takes a lot of time and effort, do you give up? Or have you not even tried at all yet?

Although I’ve not had the results and success I’d envisioned from everything I was given by these mentors, probably partly because I have not exactly applied it all, as I said earlier, I have no regrets. Some might say, “Well if you didn’t get what you envisioned out of it, don’t you feel it was a waste of time and money?” My answer to that is absolutely not. I did not get the results directly from what they taught me, but the success and happiness I enjoy now is indirectly attributed to every one of them and I thank them all. Here’s why.

Each of them was giving me blueprints to success with the assumption that success to me was the exact same as success to them which was money, money and more money. There was also an assumption that because they had success with their system, that it would automatically work for me too as long as I did exactly what they did. Well, I’m not going to lie to you, money was a motivator, as I do need to eat and pay my mortgage, after all, but what I realized is that money is NOT my primary motivator or sole definition of success.

They were all trying to pigeon-hole me into weight loss as my niche since I have successfully managed to eliminate my excess weight and keep it off for 9 years now without dieting, pills, bars or shakes. Yes, that is a personal triumph for me, for sure, and is still an area I love helping people with, but there are so many ways I can help people including people who do not have a body weight issue. However, the experts kept telling me that I needed to niche market and focus on one target market and that I’d be crazy not to make it weight loss since it’s a $15 billion dollar industry and that’s ‘where the money is’. I did what they told me for the longest time and enjoyed some wonderful success, but I just kept feeling like I was somehow short-changing myself.  As a proud cancer survivor, there were so many other ways I wanted to help people and I knew I had so much more to offer.

My weight loss coaching clients kept saying things to me like “Oh my gosh, Roslyn, what I’m learning from you is so much more meaningful than just the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. You’re teaching me how to be good to my body and kind to myself.”  After enough of these similar comments, it finally hit me that it was time to STOP listening to all the experts telling me what I ‘should’ be doing and what’s ‘right’ for me, that I won’t be successful if I try to be too many things to too many people. They tried to discourage me out of what I was about to do, but I didn’t care. I was sick and tired of following others and trying to do exactly what they would do if they were me. They are NOT me. It was time for me to lead myself and create my own path. Maybe it wouldn’t be as fast and easy as their rise to success, big house and fancy cars, but I didn’t care anymore as those aren’t even the things that are important to me to start with.

So with all the client feedback, it hit me that what I’m essentially doing is helping people to ‘lighten up’ in body, mind and soul and NOT just body. WOW!!!! Eureka!!!! This changed the whole game. I left the weight loss coaching behind (although I still do coach people for weight loss as part of my Lighten Up focus). I changed my tag line to ‘Lighten Up for Good’ as you’ll see on my website at http://www.roslynfranken.com.

I took the obvious weight loss focus off my website as I didn’t want to be identified with solely weight loss anymore. Helping people ‘Lighten Up’ is about reducing stress, re-claiming life balance, renewing health, realizing your potential and rejuvenating your spirit. It’s about boosting confidence, conquering challenges and bettering your life which may or may not include improving your diet or losing weight.

Although my mentors much preferred me sticking to ONE focus, ONE niche, ONE target market, I have to tell you that since I declared my path to helping people ‘Lighten Up for Good’ my business and success have accelerated faster than ever. I’m now getting more and more exciting speaking engagements, being able to reach so many more people and am currently writing my second book and planning for my speaking, book and media tour.

As soon as I made the shift, I actually felt lighter. This is what is true to me and how can anyone tell me that what is true to me is WRONG.

I’ve heard repeatedly that to be successful you need to stand out, be unique and different. Well how can you be unique and different if you’re constantly trying to emulate others and be exactly like them? It’s time to strike out and dare to be yourself. Have the courage to find your own route to success. Take from the experts what makes sense and feels right for you and that you can do with a clear heart, that is in alignment with your personal values and what’s important to YOU and not THEM.

These are the best lessons I learned from my coaches. Through them I indirectly learned to honour my own self and discover my own path to success. No matter how many workshops and seminars you go on, courses you take, books you read or CD’s you listen to, at some point you need to put a stake in the ground, claim your identity, know who YOU are and just get to it. Be willing to try, learn, fail, bounce back and try again. Learn from every experience. Figure out who YOU want to be as YOU, what makes you special and stop trying to follow and be like everybody else. This is me telling you what worked for me. My wish is that it will help you figure out what will work for you, but on YOUR terms.

After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her stress, weight and lifestyle challenges once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker who provides audiences with an unforgettable experience that brings hope, inspiration and proven life principles to overcome their challenges and lighten up for a happy, healthy and resilient life, no matter what.

To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

CONNECT WITH ROSLYN:

JOIN MAILING LIST: http://conta.cc/unbfX7

SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG: http://roslynfranken.blogspot.com

LIKE ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/roslynfrankenfanpage

FOLLOW ON TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RoslynFranken

CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: http://ca.linkedin.com/in/roslynfranken

LISTEN TO RADIO SHOW: http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com

 

 

 

My Keynote to Brain Tumour Patients

When I was asked to give an inspirational keynote presentation at the "Together in Hope" conference for brain tumour patients and their caregivers, I was both honoured and excited.  I then thought “what do I say to this special group given the difficulties they face, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well?” I knew I wanted to make a truly meaningful and positive difference in their lives. So I reflected on my own cancer journey at age 29 and what it was like for me, the discoveries I made about myself and about life. I shared about my mother’s fight with cancer and how her ‘keep going' attitude served her so well and inspired me with so much courage. Where I first thought of how was I going to fill 30 minutes, I ended up with so much to say and so many stories to share that I had to scale it down to 30 minutes.

I’ve spoken at cancer patient events before, but this group was different.  Perhaps it was because I had the opportunity to meet some of the attendees one on one the night before at a meet and greet. It gave me the chance to hear their stories and really connect with them. I’m so glad I had that opportunity.

One of the comments I heard from some of the ladies in particular was “if it wasn’t for my husband, I wouldn’t be here”. It gave me such a good feeling to see the couples together in hope, supporting each other with such love and commitment, walking hand in hand. It was beautiful. One young lady, Andrea, was diagnosed with her brain tumour only one month after her wedding. She felt so badly about it, yet her husband insisted that he would be there for her no matter what. As much as so many people came to me after my presentation and told me how much I inspired them, they inspired me too.

On a personal note, their comments struck me because when I was going through my cancer experience, my husband at the time (notice how I say ‘at the time’) was not there for me. He didn’t physically leave me or anything quite that horrible, but he was not much of an emotional support. He left me emotionally. He was seemingly too wrapped up in his own world in a job he hated and complained about all the time which I suspect may have blinded him to what his wife was actually going through in battling cancer. I rarely asked anything of him and pretty much took care of myself, so as not to be a bother, knowing how miserable he was to start with. I didn’t want to be a burden and make things worse for him.  In fact, I was still taking care of him more than vice versa even on my worst chemo days. Makes me wonder ‘Was my self-worth really that low that I continually put his needs ahead of my own? Was I not worthy of his love and attention even if yes, he hated his job?’  I remember thinking, “if you hate your job that much, do something about it. Why not look for another job?”  If you hate your job, you can look for a new one.  In my case, my body had cancer and it wasn’t like I could trade it in for a new one. But we all make choices in life and it was his choice to continue to stagnate in a very unfulfilling job.

I’ve moved on with my life since then to much greater things. Thank goodness. However, looking back, it saddens me that I went through one of the biggest adversities of my life with so little support at home from the person who I would have hoped and expected would be there for me the most. It saddens me that I did not communicate better and express my true feelings including my fears, anger, needs and desires for fear of being a burden on my husband. I never expressed my disappointments and didn’t give him a chance to see if by discussing things maybe he could learn to be more of a support once he understood how his behaviours were impacting me and what I needed from him. Maybe if we had communicated better, I could have learned if it was just his miserable job that was causing him to be so emotionally aloof or if there were other things bothering him that he needed to express as well that maybe could have been resolved or at least understood. Who knows. Clearly neither of us were very good at reaching out for help and support. As the caregiver, so to speak, maybe he needed someone outside of us to seek help from as well.

On the positive side, I learned so much through this experience which I shared in my 30 minute presentation to this wonderful group. A few of my key messages were about what I discovered about communication and self-worth. I discovered how important it is in your relationship, when you’re going through a difficult time yourself whether health-wise or otherwise, to communicate your true feelings and to know that you are worthy and deserving of expressing yourself, asking for, receiving and accepting help from your loved one and others without fear, guilt or shame. Let them know what you need from them and don’t expect them to read your mind. If their behaviours are making things more difficult for you, tell them and give them the opportunity to understand and hopefully change their ways. And give them the same opportunity in return. They may be completely oblivious unless you spell it out to them. I learned these lessons the hard way through my cancer journey and a not-so-great marriage that maybe just maybe could have been better had we both communicated more effectively and made the effort to understand one another.

When I reflect on the past, who I was, and how far I’ve come in my own personal development, outlook on life, commitment to health and maintaining courage, it renews my faith in the human ability to self-learn, change, grow and improve ourselves and our quality of life. I’m living proof. Probably explains why I love the work I do now in motivational speaking, coaching, writing and expressing myself to others, sharing my stories, communicating and bringing hope and courage wherever I can.

Here’s what one of the participants posted on my Facebook page about my presentation. Thank you again for your kind words, Kenny. This comment means so much:

"Not only is Roslyn a very talented and engaging speaker, she deeply cares for and understands the situations that her audience is experiencing. My wife Ali and I afforded both the opportunity of hearing her speak and also the opportunity of getting to know her through her presentation and also her commitment to continuing to get to know the audience members personally afterwards. I would highly recommend her to anyone looking to really make sure their event is very memorable. My favorite quote of hers (actually her mother's quote as a holocaust survivor) "if Hitler didn't kill me cancer sure won't." And that can definitely give us all a very good perspective on life and its outcomes." — Kenny Allision with Ali Paladino Allison.

I’m happy to share with you that since those challenging times in my life with beating cancer and overcoming divorce, I’ve married a new man who I will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary with next month. I love my life and have proudly learned from my past. I’m a better person for all the hardships endured and am grateful for lessons learned. Been there, done that.  I enjoy a much greater sense of balance, wellness and self-worth, three things in life you cannot put a pricetag on and that you cannot buy no matter how much money you have. I am grateful for my health and rich in my appreciation for each day. Each day is a gift, so use it well.

After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her weight gain once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker, best-selling author, personal empowerment coach specialized in healthy living, stress reduction and overcoming adversity. She is committed to helping people lighten up for good to lead a healthy, happy and resilient life. To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

CONNECT WITH ROSLYN:

JOIN MAILING LIST: http://conta.cc/unbfX7
SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG: http://roslynfranken.blogspot.com
LIKE ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/roslynfrankenfanpage
FOLLOW ON TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RoslynFranken
CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: http://ca.linkedin.com/in/roslynfranken
LISTEN TO RADIO SHOW: http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com

 

 

My Striving for Caregiver Work Life Balance

Roslyn Franken and her 91-year old dad, John Franken

I’ve been busy looking after my 91-year old dad, a labour of love, indeed. It’s a new caregiver role that puts me to the test of practicing what I preach when it comes to work life balance. I’ll be honest, it's not always easy. I moved my dad from Montreal to Ottawa a year ago June and rarely a day goes by that I don’t spend time with him at his Retirement Home. I’m very blessed in that he still has a strong mind, sharp wit and is always ready with a smile. If only his body was in as good a shape. He’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease which is affecting his mobility and posture thereby creating new challenges and greater needs. He says to people with a laugh, “I don’t know why they call this the golden age, it’s more like varnish to me.”

I work hard to juggle being with my dad and looking after his needs while running my business, making time for my husband and maintaining my personal friendships. Oh wait a sec… that’s right... I also strive to look after myself too including making time to cook healthy meals, get my regular exercise and do things just for me. That is a principle I teach in my coaching and speaking. It's one we often forget to do, especially all of you women out there. We get so caught up nurturing others, taking care of our daily responsibilities, that we often put ourselves last. How true is that?

To alleviate the pressure, I did what I coach others to do. That is, to take a step back and look at what I need to do differently to adapt to my new lifestyle that includes making time for my dad. Firstly, I’ve had to let go of my natural tendencies toward perfectionism. If you’re a perfectionist I’m sure you can relate that letting go is not an easy thing to do. I decided that the pressure I was putting on myself to be the perfect caregiver while trying to keep on top of business, have time for my husband and time for me in the way I would most like to do, was just not worth it. The 'perfectionist pressure cooker' I saw myself falling into was causing me what I call ‘self-inflicted’ stress. As soon as I noticed how it was affecting me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I knew it was time to change my attitude.

So what did I do? I decided to self-reflect with some hard-hitting questions like “What is truly most important to me right now? What are my top priorities? What are my boundaries with my dad, with my husband, with my business and how will I manage them? Can I delegate some responsibility?”

In answering the questions, I discovered that my dad is absolutely a top priority for me right now. Every day that he’s still alive and well is a gift. Acknowledging this set me free. By recognizing and accepting that my dad is a top priority, I’ve accepted that there are days where I may not get all my work done for my business that I’d planned on and that’s okay. There are days when I may have to cook up a simpler meal for me and my husband on the fly, there are days when I’ll have to wake up earlier to squeeze in my exercise. That’s just the way it is. And it’s all okay. I’ve learned to forgive myself when I just can’t have it all, do it all and be it all. That’s fine with me. I've also started recruiting help from my brothers, especially when I'm traveling, to take on some of the responsibilities.

The problem is I see far too many people, women in particular, struggling to have it all, do it all and be it all. They’re paying for it with their health, their relationships and overall sense of well-being and self-worth. They’re too busy to take that step back and look at the choices they’re making and how they’re living their lives.

If this sounds like you, I encourage you to schedule some time for yourself in the next five days to take YOUR step back. Ask yourself some of the questions that I asked myself. What do you need to do differently to lighten up your life and adjust your routine so that you’re feeling healthier, stronger and more balanced?  I’d love to hear from you, so please send me your answers within the next five days. I will personally read every answer, that’s a promise. You have five days. Email me at roslyn@roslynfranken.com.

I know striking that perfect work life balance seems impossible and maybe it is. What I’m discovering is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be good enough to allow you to feel healthy, happy and resilient. And remember, some days will be better than others, some will be easier than others. It’s all good. Just roll with it and keep all the good stuff going.

I look forward to hearing from you within the next five days.

 

After beating cancer at age 29 and conquering her weight gain once and for all, Roslyn Franken is back stronger than ever! She is a world-class motivational speaker, best-selling author, personal empowerment expert and proud founder of Lighten Up for Good: A Win-Win Wellness Campaign for Employers, Employees and our Communities. To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

CONNECT WITH ROSLYN:

JOIN MAILING LIST: http://conta.cc/unbfX7
SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG: http://roslynfranken.blogspot.com
LIKE ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/roslynfrankenfanpage
FOLLOW ON TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RoslynFranken
CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: http://ca.linkedin.com/in/roslynfranken
LISTEN TO RADIO SHOW: http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com
BOOK A NO-COST CONSULTATION: https://www.timetrade.com/book/FVXKS

 

 

Re-claim Your Work Life Balance

I’m busy preparing for a Management Workshop I’m delivering in a few days on one of my most popular Lighten Up for Good speaking topics - How to Stop Stressing and Start Living. One of the many issues I'll be sharing is about our societal values around Work/Life Balance. We'll be looking at how these values are impacting our increasing levels of unhealthy stress. These are the kinds of stress that can lead to many serious health problems whether physical, mental or emotional that can threaten our performance, satisfaction and results in both our work and personal lives.

We are a society that values hard work, putting in long hours to show our commitment to the company or to our own businesses. We value the achievement of our goals and dreams, striving to get ahead, make more money and have more stuff. We’re so busy working and striving to achieve that many of us forget to enjoy the process. We often neglect the simple joys of living. That’s why so many people with lots of wealth and success are still not truly happy or as happy as you think they should be with all that they have.

An effective work life balance is not about a 50/50 split in time and energy. The world is just not perfect that way. It is not a realistic goal. We all have different roles, priorities and lifestyles which also influence our work life balance. A single person may have a different sense of work life balance than someone who is married with children, for example. 

 

Feeling overwhelmed by our multiple roles as worker, parent, spouse, caregiver to an aging or ill relative, family member, friend, work colleague, volunteer, etc… while trying to balance our work and personal lives is just one source of stress that prevents us from living fully. And on top of all that, here I am suggesting that you also need to make time to look after your own health and well-being? Perhaps you’re saying, ‘yeah, right, Roslyn’. Yes, it is exactly what I’m saying. There are ways and that is what this workshop is all about.

On another note, with the increasing prevalence of communication technologies with computers, cell phones, emailing, texting, video conferencing, etc…the work to life conflict is even greater. The boundaries are becoming increasingly blurred with people checking work-related emails, texting and answering phone calls during their personal time. The worst is when you see people constantly connected to work while on vacation or family time. This is not a life.

 

There are many other factors that contribute to our day-to-day stress. Striving for a healthy work life balance is just one of them. In preparing for this workshop, it gives me good reminders as well to practice what I preach as it is far too easy to get sucked in by the currents of the world outside of us. At the end of the day, we still do have choices to make.

 

Looking for a world-class motivational speaker for your next group event? Roslyn Franken provides the ideal solution for your next meeting, conference, convention, retreat, seminar, trade show, strategic planning session, lunch & learn or ongoing health and wellness promotion program. For more information, visit http://www.roslynfranken.com/

How will you celebrate your mom this Mother's Day?

I’m busy preparing for my keynote presentation at a Mother Daughter Gala Dinner on May 10^th in Ottawa, Canada.  See http://ottawastart.com/story/19847.php for full details. If you live in the Ottawa area, I encourage you to attend, or at least pass on the link to invite others. With this presentation and Mother’s Day  around the corner, I can’t help but take stock of the very special bond between mothers and daughters. I was very blessed to have a mother who always believed in me. I am forever grateful for that. I would give anything for her to be in the audience on May 10^th so that I could see her looking up at me with her shining smile full of pride. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2004 after a remarkable 21 year battle with cancer.

Although she is no longer living in the physical sense, trust me when I tell you that she is still very much alive in my heart and soul. I still feed off the strength, determination and inspiration that she passed on to me simply by being there as a positive role model. 

What are you thankful to your mother for? What amazing qualities did you inherit from her? In what ways has she been a positive force in your life? When is the last time you shared these feelings with her and thanked her for all she’s given you aside from life on this earth? How are you going to truly celebrate your mom this weekend?

I’d love to hear your comments.  Simply click on the 'Post a Comment' link below to add your comments. In the meantime, I want to wish all you moms out there a very healthy, happy Mother’s Day and enjoy your time with your family.

Taking Charge of our Health and Happiness

I recently read a book called, ‘The Stroke'. It's about my friend Frank Hegyi’s journey back to health following his stroke including recovering his ability to speak and walk. It got me thinking about a few insights regarding preventative health and resilience that I'm here to share with you as follows.

No matter how hard we try to live a healthy, happy life, there are never any guarantees that we will not fall prey to a stroke or other illness, but I’m a big believer that we all have the ability to do our best to minimize our risks and avoid having to suffer the challenges that Frank Hegyi had to face. When I say "doing our best to minimize health risks:, what I mean is eating a healthy balanced diet, managing our weight, getting regular physical activity and proper rest. It also means making wise life choices that help to minimize our levels of daily stress, worry, anxiety and fears. I believe that these negative emotions can be as harmful to our health and well-being as a piece of fattening chocolate cake.

Unfortunately, so many of us, like Frank, wait for a medical crisis till we finally take proactive steps to change our health, attitudes and lifestyle habits. This is what is so sad. Why do we wait? Why can’t we see that by neglecting our health and not looking after ourselves properly today we can be setting ourselves up for a lot more suffering tomorrow than it would be to just start taking better charge of our health today?

When I made the decision in 2004, shortly after my mother passed away from cancer, to take charge of my health,  weight problems and happiness, I knew that this was the best decision I would ever make. But please do note this - I do not spend hours at the gym, I don’t eat a strict and highly restrictive diet and I’m not in bed at 9:00pm every night. I just make smart choices. I work out regularly and sometimes it is longer than other times. Sometimes I'll miss a workout here and there. I eat a healthy, balanced diet and have learned how to incorporate my favourite foods so I don’t ever feel deprived and restricted. I work hard and I play hard. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who likes having fun as much as I do and we are sure to incorporate lots of fun and laughter into our daily lives.

The biggest gift that I have given myself and that I am here to share with others through my motivational speaking, coaching, books and radio show is how to lighten up for good. I have learned to not take myself as seriously as I used to and how to let go of the stuff that doesn’t really matter in the bigger picture. Learning to wake up, let go and lighten up are some of the most amazing gifts you can give to yourself for greater health and happiness. Nobody else can give you these things except for yourself. I can teach you how to do it and support you through it, but at the end of the day, it is up to you.

Wishing you continued health and happiness always.

Roslyn Franken, Motivational Inspirational Keynote Speaker

 

To book Roslyn for speaking engagements, personal coaching and purchase copies of her book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, visit, http://www.roslynfranken.com

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How to Lighten Up those Valentine’s Blues

Well, it’s that time of year again with all the commercial grandeur of Valentine’s Day, that one official day of the year marked by chocolate hearts, fine dining, red roses, cards and other gifts of love and romance. However, with all its magic and romance, it can also be a challenging time marked with heartache for couples when expectations go unmet or of deep loneliness for singles or widows aching for the romance missing from their lives.

 

Whether single or attached it can be a time for those with the Valentine’s blues to turn to comfort food, alcohol or other unhealthy crutches for instant relief from the heartache felt by so many at this time of year.

 

Here are some tips on how to lighten up those Valentine’s Day blues.

 

SOME TIPS FOR IF YOU'RE ATTACHED:

Remember, your mate is not psychic. Don’t expect him/her to read your mind:

I know we wish we didn’t have to spell things out for our mates. We feel they should know what we want from them and if they really love us we shouldn’t have to tell them. But is that really fair to the other person? Here’s a thought. Instead of being left disappointed yet again, why not BEFORE February 14^th, sit down with your mate and talk? How about taking time to verbalize each other’s expectations for how you want to celebrate this holiday as a couple? Wouldn’t that be a lot better? If you’re expecting special gifts, a romantic card and a night of romance, then let the other know what you wish for and how important this is to you. If there’s something specific you want, tell your mate. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind and automatically know what you want. He/she may have no clue how meaningful this day is to you. as it may not mean that much to them. Otherwise you may well be left hurt and disappointed when your mate fails to live up to your expectations.

With my husband, it’s very simple. He doesn’t rely on this one day a year to buy me roses or tell me he loves me. And vice versa. I don’t rely on this one day a year to buy him gifts and tell him how much I love him. We’ve discussed it and have agreed that for us Valentine’s Day is just another day of the year. Sure, we may get each other a nice card, but if he doesn’t go above and beyond with gifts, roses and fancy dinners, it doesn’t matter to me because to us every day is a celebration of our love. Ya, ya, I know it sounds mushy, but that’s just what works for us. This way nobody is left feeling disappointed with expectations gone unmet.

Okay, so like I said maybe you wish that you didn't have to spell things out to your mate, wishing that if only he or she could just know what to do, or what to buy for you on their own initiative. However, if that's what you've done in the past and it has repeatedly left you hurt and disappointed, then perhaps it's time to try my new approach as outlined above.

A little communication can go a long way to save you this type of heartache and lighten up your Valentine's Day. It can also save you from your potential bad habits like running straight to the fridge or cupboard for your favorite unhealthy comfort foods, or over-indulging in extra alcohol or turning to whatever your unhealthy coping mechanism is that you rely on for instant relief.

 

TIPS FOR IF YOU'RE SINGLE:

Get out of your tunnel vision. Focus on the love you already have in your life.

Instead of having tunnel vision only seeing what is missing from your life, think about all the wonderful things you already have. Why not appreciate and be grateful for all the love you already have around you? Wouldn’t that help you feel a whole lot better? Make it a point to get a group of family and/or friends together and go out for a special dinner, make cards for each other or do a fun social activity. If you have other single friends,  invite them along as they too may not wish to be alone on this day.

Go for it. Indulge yourself:

Give YOURSELF a gift of love such as a day at the spa or some cheerful flowers. If you’re trying to control your health and weight and want to try your hand at portion control, then spoil yourself with the best high quality dark chocolate, ice cream or whatever your favourite treat is money can buy. Give yourself permission to enjoy a small portion and truly taste and savor every mouthful. Just be careful not to over-indulge. Instead of buying a whole box of chocolate, for example, choose a few very special chocolates and stick to those. That way you won’t have the whole box there to tempt you.

Whether single or attached, keep things in perspective. This is only one day in the year so to beat the Valentine’s blues, plan ahead, communicate with your partner, celebrate the love you already have and have some fun!

Roslyn Franken is a Motivational Speaker, best-selling Author, proud Cancer Survivor and Personal Coach who helps people lighten up for good to live a healthy, happy and resilient life. For more information and a FREE Lighten Up Newsletter subscription, visit www.roslynfranken.com.