Can Verbal Abuse Affect your Weight?

I recently interviewed a very special guest on my radio show, How to Thrive After 35 Talk Radio. Her name is Kim Roman Corle, expert on Verbal and Emotional abuse. Kim knows this subject all too well as she herself was married to a verbal abuser and went from a fairy tale wedding to a divorce that had her fleeing the house with kids and pets. Subsequently, she lost everything and had to start all over. From her experiences, Kim is now determined to help others manage themselves through difficult situations and learn how to take back their power, especially if they are in a verbally abusive relationship. If this topic is relevant for you or someone you know, then you really need to listen to this interview available online now at http://www.howtothriveafter35talkradio.com.

When I was listening back to the interview, something that struck me was that perhaps not all of us are victims of verbally abusive relationships with others. However, I do believe that there are many of us who are extremely verbally and emotionally abusive toward ourselves. I call this verbal and emotional SELF-ABUSE. From many of my weight loss coaching clients who I have helped over the years, this is truly a pattern I have seen over and over. If we talked to other people the ways we talk to ourselves, we may just be called Verbal Abusers. Do you ever listen to the way you beat up on yourself when you eat something that is not really healthy? Do you talk to yourself filled with guilt and shame when you overeat or overindulge in your favourite foods? If you are struggling in an unhealthy and abusive relationship with food or if you are overweight, then you need to listen to how you're talking to yourself. Are you being self-abusive, do you think? And what do you do to feel better? You eat more, right? Would you like it to stop? Do you want to know how much better your life could be if you could turn your abusive behaviours around toward food and your inner self?

That is what I learned to do. That is exactly how I gained control over my eating, weight and lifestyle habits. My passion is now to help people just like you to figure out how to do this for yourself. If you are overweight and think you can benefit from some help and support in changing your own verbal and emotional abuse habits toward yourself, then take one small step today and fill out my new Readiness Assessment online. It's totally FREE and only takes a few minutes of your time. If you are ready for some positive change in your life, you owe it to yourself to check it out at http://www.roslynfranken.com/assessmentrequest.htm. I don't normally use my Blog to promote myself in this way, but when I listened back to Kim and thought about how much we abuse ourselves, I couldn't help but Blog about my thoughts and encourage you to take this step.

If a 101 Year Old Woman Can Do This, Can YOU?

I recently visited a Senior's community in Sun City, Florida. I have a friend who spends her winters there to escape the cold of the great white North. She took me on a tour of the Club House which included a visit to the gym. Well, I was astonished and amazed at the big poster up on the wall that featured photographs and bios of some of the oldest members of the gym who go there to do their daily workouts and physical activity.

The oldest member, get this, is 101 years old. This little old lady works out in the gym every day. She even had a face lift at age 85. Her secrets to healthy aging include a balanced diet, weight control, regular physical activity and a positive outlook on life. I then started looking at all the other photos and bios on the poster and they were all men and women over age 90 who work out regularly lifting weights and building their strength. How could you not be inspired? And they all had those same healthy aging factors in common. They all believed in balanced eating, healthy weight control, regular physical activity and a positive outlook. A few even added in things like fun and laughter.

It was extremely validating for me to see this because these are the same healthy living and healthy aging factors that I promote to my weight loss coaching clients and through my book, The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living. I'm telling you that to see these photos and to look around the gym and see all kinds of seniors on treadmills, lifting weights and looking fit and amazing not just for their own age, but for any age, I was in awe.

It just goes to show that you're never too old for healthy living and healthy aging. If they can do it, so can you. No matter what your starting point is, you can renew your own commitment to your own healthy aging starting TODAY. Start slow if you need to, but just start. I know that from what I saw, I am more motivated than ever to continue my own healthy eating and positive living practices.

Taming Your Tension Tiger

A few weeks ago I went on a 4-night 5-day cruise from Tampa to Cozumel. It was my first cruise ever and definitely won't be my last. One of things that helped to make it my best vacation ever was that I purposely chose to leave my laptop at home. I knew that if I brought it with me I'd be at risk of spending more time working on my computer than necessary. My mission was to totally immerse myself into a world of fun, relaxation and letting go. I spend so much time on my computer for my work in my day-to-day routine, that taking a break from it can sometimes feel like a challenge. It's so much a part of me and what I do, but I decided that to practice what I preach I would need to let it go so that I could have this time to just "be" and tame my own tension tiger. What do I mean by this? How can you tame your own tension tiger? Keep reading.

When tension strikes, it can be like a tiger jumping on its prey. When your tension tiger is biting at you for prolonged periods of time, it can take a chunk out of you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This can leave you with headaches, digestive problems, a lowered immune system, sleeping disorders, heart problems, some forms of cancer and more. It can also lead to weight problems as you medicate your health issues with your favourite comfort foods that give you a sense of safety and protection.

I've learned through my own and others' experiences that to tame the tension tiger within, we need to learn to let go, have more fun, stop worrying about what others think of us, stretch ourselves beyond our self-imposed limitations and live life fully. It means releasing the weight of your fears and insecurities and just reaching for your dreams. It means feeling good about yourself and doing whatever you need to in order to feel better if you're not feeling that great about yourself to start with.

If your tension tiger is about to strike and sends you to your favourite foods for comfort, safety and protection, if it's causing you to lose sleep, experience stomach problems such as bloating or heartburn, skin problems or other stress-related health issues, or if it's causing you worry, anxiety, panic or depression, then you need to get out that whip and tame that tension tiger within you. You need to bite back, put it in its place and show her/him who's boss.

YOU are the boss of your inner tension tiger and you need to be in good shape to keep it where it belongs. This means improving your diet, incorporating regular physical activity into your routine, getting plenty of rest, staying hydrated and enjoying a more positive outlook toward yourself, others and the world around you. You have to make time for fun too!

I know we can't all go on cruises every day, but who says you need to go away? You can take time for yourself every day and go on a mental, emotional and spiritual cruise. Let go and create a space and time in your day where you can relax your body, calm your mind and soothe your soul without unhealthy foods or other unhealthy vices.

If you need help taming your inner tension tiger, then let me help you. For more information, contact me today at info@roslynfranken.com or call 1-877-852-5852.

Business Women Ignite to Be Their Best

On January 15, 2010, I had the joy and honour of speaking to a group of vibrant and ambitious business women at the first BizWomen Ignite event in Tampa, Florida, an event organized by eWomen Network Managing Director, Karen Krymski. The event was a wonderful success. The day opened with Denise Oatley, a comedic hypnotist followed by 5 speakers in total including myself, Suzanne Caplan, Kim Duke, Marsha Friedman and Peggy McColl. Each speaker had a unique message to offer presented in a unique way. The energy in the room was positive, powerful and inspiring.

I want to congratulate Karen for doing such a great job in organizing the event, but also to all the attendees. As a business woman, attending events such as this one is truly a statement to yourself that you are worth the investment of your time, money and commitment not only for the benefit of your business, but for yourself on a personal level as well. I have learned that being an entrepreneur is an extension of yourself. To be both successful and truly fulfilled, you really need to know who you are, what you want and what you're prepared to do to make your dreams come true. These kinds of events offer so much more than just coming to listen to speakers. Events like this give you the opportunity to meet new people, network and learn from one another. When you take an interest in other people and what they have to offer, they may just reciprocate and want to know about you too. It really is a two way street. I'm a big believer in showing interest in others. I can't help it because I love listening to others, learning about them and how they got to where they are. I guess I'm just overly curious. I believe there is something you can learn from anyone you meet. At events like this, it is also helpful to meet like-minded people as you share so much in common just by virtue of being in business for yourself.

So for those who attended, I trust that you enjoyed the event as much as I did. I didn't just enjoy it from a speaker's perspective. I truly enjoyed the event as a participant as well. I met so many extraordinary women in all kinds of businesses who are eager, ambitious and going after their dreams. I wish every single one of you continued health, success and happiness and look forward to seeing you at other events.

What I Learned About Surviving and Thriving as a Child of Holocaust Survivors

Today I had the honour of interviewing John Franken, an 87-year old Atomic Bomb Survivor and ex-Japanese Prisoner of War, for my radio show How to Thrive after 35 Talk Radio airing January 6, 2010. Notice he has the same last name as me? That’s because he is my dad. Despite the horrors he survived during the war, my dad manages to be one of the most joyful people you could ever meet. While my dad was busy surviving as a prison of war in Nagasaki, Japan, my mother was on the other side of the world busy surviving the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. My mother was one of the most courageous and inspiring women you could ever meet as well. The same fighting spirit that enabled her to survive the war came shining through again later in life as she fought her 21 year battle with cancer that finally came to an end in January 2004.

In interviewing my dad today, it reminded me of the pain, loss and suffering that both my parents endured. It reminded me not only of what a miracle it is that they both survived, but that the universe brought them together and that I am even here on this planet. It reminded me of all they taught me about surviving and thriving as a child of holocaust survivors.

As we bring in the New Year, it truly is a time to reflect on the miracles in our own lives in how blessed we truly are. If you have a roof over your head, if you live in a country where there is peace, if you have a fridge filled with food, a means of income, a clean bill of health and have love in your life, then you are already rich beyond words compared with many others in the world who can only dream of what we have.

We are a society who always wants “more”, yet we often fail to celebrate and appreciate what we already have. When I think of what my parents had to overcome, it makes me appreciate what I have very deeply. It helps me keep my own “whining” into perspective so that I snap out of it and get back on a positive track VERY quickly. They were both tremendous role models for me as I was growing up of what it means to both survive and thrive. Their strength and thriving attitudes gave me the strength and courage I needed when I was battling my cancer, going through divorce, job loss and all the other adversities I have faced. They were my inspiration, especially my mother as she understood first-hand what it meant to be a cancer patient going through treatment and never knowing if and when it would ever poke up it's ugly head again.

We "whine" when the price of gas goes up a few cents as if it is the end of the world or when we have to shovel snow off our driveway. This is not hardship, my friends. I truly believe that we have so much that we don’t even know what true suffering means. It is easy to lose perspective. It is easy to fall into the “whining” trap.

As you start your New Year, I invite you to take stock of all the amazing things you have in your life RIGHT NOW! I invite you to celebrate the good things and keep your “whining” to a minimum. If those around you start incessantly “whining” and you feel yourself spiraling downward with them, then either help them snap out of it, or disengage from them. Instead, surround yourself with people who are as uplifting as you are striving to be as well. Be a role model for others and maybe just maybe you will help uplift someone who may not have otherwise been able to do so.

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and uplifting 2010!

Listen to the interview with my dad on How to Thrive after 35 Talk Radio airing January 6, 2010. Go to http://www.roslynfranken.com/howtothriveafter35talkradio.htm

My personal perspective on the Law of Attraction and my Health

A couple of days ago I had surgery on my right breast to remove what is called a Fibroadenoma. The experiences leading up to the surgery have caused me to question some beliefs I have around the Law of Attraction that I want to share with you. I invite you to read my story as follows.

It all started over a year ago when I went for a routine mammogram. They found something suspicious so I was immediately sent for an ultrasound and biopsy. Needless to say that with my previous cancer history, having survived Hodgkin's Disease 14 years ago, I was quite shaken up over the prospect of having to go down that path for a second time. I was told that I simply had a "complicated" cyst and it was "probably" nothing to worry about.

I did not tell any of my friends that I was going through this. I just didn't want to make a big deal of it and didn't want to attract any attention to it. My thinking was that if I talked about it, then by the virtue of the Law of Attraction, I would somehow attract a negative outcome. And so, I suffered quietly to myself, shedding the occasional tears of fear, and then picking myself up promptly and moving on, because that is just what I do. After all, I couldn't possibly allow myself to feel fear or any worry around it because the universe might catch me and by the Law of Attraction I would somehow automatically attract a negative outcome. And so, I just pushed my fear away and went about my normal life as best possible.

However, my doctor suggested that we check it again in six months time to make sure nothing had changed. So six months later I went for another mammogram and they saw that it had grown in size. I went for yet another ultrasound and biopsy surgery. Knowing that it had grown in size quite a bit was now raising up those feelings of fear again. Amazing how close at hand they can be. I told my doctor to please just take the sucker out. I did not want this thing in my body any longer especially if it can grow in size that quickly and who knew how else it could change?

As previously, I did not want my friends to know because I didn't want them to worry about me and then be calling to check in on me which would mean I'd have to explain things and be dwelling on it when I just didn't want to have to think about it. If I allowed myself to think about it then once again the Law of Attraction might get me, right?

So what does all this mean? I know that according to the Law of Attrraction (and if you aren't familiar with this term, then I invite you to watch the movie or read the book called, "The Secret")we attract EVERYTHING that happens to us in our lives from the people who show up on our path to the situations we find ourselves in and the events that seemingly just happen to us, such as our illnesses, diseases or other health issues. I believe this to be true and live by it, but yet to think that we attract our own illness, I still have some battles with. This means that we then blame ourselves for everything that happens and live in fear and worry for every thought or feeling we have that may not be 100% positive or happy in a given moment. I believe that the universe is not only working by the Law of Attraction. There are other Laws and Forces at work simultaneously. By not sharing what I was going through and living in my private fear and inner conflict over allowing myself to even have these feelings let alone share them, I believe that the fear and inner conflict itself of sharing with others could do as much damage to my health as the health condition itself.

I believe that we need to live in a way that allows us to minimize fear and other forms of negative stress as much as possible. From what I've seen, the Law of Attraction has in many cases caused people much stress when things don't happen the way they think they "should". I believe in positive thinking , but I also believe that it is not only okay, but also necessary to acknowledge and honour your true feelings about a difficult situation and that it is perfectly okay to allow yourself to feel those feelings, own them and also share them and communicate them so that you can gain comfort from the love and support of others who care about you. This way you can work through the feelings, accept them and then allow yourself to rise above them through the ultimate release of them. This is much healthier than denying your true feelings and pretending that everything is perfectly fine when you know in your deepest truth that it is not okay. Living in denial of your truest feelings does not serve anyone, especially yourself.

So, yes, the Law of Attraction is always at work, but it doesn't mean that you should live in fear, shame or self-blame when things happen in ways that you do not wish for or expect.

I am glad that I did choose to share with others about my surgery two days ago. I got calls and emails from all over wishing me love and sending me positive energy and prayers. I thank you all for your love and support and hope that this Blog Post will have some meaning for anyone reading this who is perhaps facing health issues or a difficult time.

5 Ways to Boost Your Own Immune System

With clouds of the H1N1 flu hovering over our heads this season, now is the time more than ever to start paying special attention to building your immune system. By minding your immune system as best you can, you will increase your chances of staying clear of not just the H1N1, but any other nasty flu bugs or colds that may otherwise grab hold of you.

As a cancer survivor myself, my immune system is what I consider to be my personal gold. I cherish it carefully and maintain it as best I can to keep ugly winter flu bugs and colds far away. Here are my 5 top healthy eating and lifestyle tips for keeping my immune system strong. I encourage you to follow these as best you can so you too can enjoy your holiday season to the fullest.

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